What is wrong with people that they can allow something like political perspective to allow them to potentially damage relationships? A specific topic that a person might be passionate about, abortion for example, okay, I can see that being important enough. But something as simple as a label? A title?
It's very frustrating to have struggled through so many of life's difficult challenges, to have fought your way through medical expenses, over-taxation, struggled with paying bills and balancing debt for YEARS to get to a place where you can barely secure a mortgage loan. Spending years wearing the same clothes and shoes you've had for 10+ years because your kids need $100+ in school supplies every year and you can't do both. To have to determine how much of your electric bill you can pay this month and still be able to afford enough groceries to get through the next 2 weeks.
How you lived as a child and these struggles that you do (or don't) live through as an adult, play an enormous role in where you stand on many of the issues in politics for the rest of your life.
Today, someone very close to me, someone who I love and have a great deal of tolerance for, attacked my opinions again. He's done it before, and because he's a young man, with basically no life experience, I've managed to excuse his attacks as an equal mix of arrogance and ignorance. Much like many of my other friends, I've had enough respect for the relationship, to simply let it go, ignore it. Today, he didn't just attack my political opinions, he attacked me as a person.
I don't know why it hurt my feelings the way that it did, but I've considered that it shouldn't, and determined that the reason I think it did was because I care so much about this person, that his opinion that I am a "bad person" really matters to me. More so than I think some people can understand. I strive to be a good person. I care for each of my children with all of my attention. I am there for each of my friends and family anytime and everytime. I volunteer hours upon hours to the Girl Scouts of America. I offer help to people that I barely know, and sometimes, people I don't know at all. I do everything that I can for other people because I can, not for any other reason. I don't take anything in return, and I don't call on people to return the favor.
I am a good person. If you disagree, than you aren't my friend and you don't deserve that title.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Spring 2011... I guess I didn't have time to click "Publish"
Hustle, bustle. Hurry up, quick. Why do we put ourselves under such stress and strain? I have four children, ages 4, 6, 8 and 12-two boys, two girls. Three are in school. That's three times the paperwork, school lunches, and homework. Three times the parent-teacher conferences, school functions, fundraisers, and school picture packages. Nevermind the costs, that's a lot of time and attention.
Add into that, sports and clubs. My three school-aged children also play Little League, each at a different age group. That's a lot of equipment, water bottles, practices and games... and a lot of coordination. In the practice season last year, we had just one night of the week without a practice. This year, we've been lucky enough to have two nights, spaced evenly apart. But somehow this year, I'm learning lessons that I've missed in the past years.
For starters, I'm beginning to really understand how important a schedule is to a single person, much less six of them! Since I was a teenager in middle school, I've always pushed to the absolute last minute that I could before getting out of bed in the morning to get ready for school. In fact, in high school in Ocean City, NJ, I lived just 3 blocks from my school. I had perfected this to the point where I needed to get up 13 minutes before school started. That was enough time to get a shower, brush my teeth, get dressed, and then eat breakfast on my 3 minute sprint to the school. That's dedication.
Sadly, nearly 20 years later, I haven't changed. I know that I can get up as late as 8 am and still have my kids dressed, fed, lunches packed, hair and teeth brushed and have them out of the door by 8:25 in order for them to make it to the opposite end of the street in time for the bus. So, needless to say, I'm not good about leaving myself plenty of time, or anyone else in my house for that matter. Things are crazy around here 85% of the time, and that percentage goes up during Little League season. Tomorrow is only opening day, and I've already come to grips with how badly we need a calendar and a schedule in this family!
Some people have suggested not letting them all play Little League, but I can't let one and not another play, so it's all or nothing. They all love it and it gets them outside and active, I can't say "no". Yes, it's crazy some days, trying to get the kids changed and loaded into the truck and over to the field, 15 minutes ago, but it's worth it because for all of the time that we put into practices and games, we do it together. In a family of six, attention frequently gets spread thin, so Little League is important for all of us, because each of our players individually gets the attention (although often divided) of the entire family as we sit nearby and cheer for them.
It may seem crazy now, but someday they'll remember it fondly and do it for their children too... I hope.
Add into that, sports and clubs. My three school-aged children also play Little League, each at a different age group. That's a lot of equipment, water bottles, practices and games... and a lot of coordination. In the practice season last year, we had just one night of the week without a practice. This year, we've been lucky enough to have two nights, spaced evenly apart. But somehow this year, I'm learning lessons that I've missed in the past years.
For starters, I'm beginning to really understand how important a schedule is to a single person, much less six of them! Since I was a teenager in middle school, I've always pushed to the absolute last minute that I could before getting out of bed in the morning to get ready for school. In fact, in high school in Ocean City, NJ, I lived just 3 blocks from my school. I had perfected this to the point where I needed to get up 13 minutes before school started. That was enough time to get a shower, brush my teeth, get dressed, and then eat breakfast on my 3 minute sprint to the school. That's dedication.
Sadly, nearly 20 years later, I haven't changed. I know that I can get up as late as 8 am and still have my kids dressed, fed, lunches packed, hair and teeth brushed and have them out of the door by 8:25 in order for them to make it to the opposite end of the street in time for the bus. So, needless to say, I'm not good about leaving myself plenty of time, or anyone else in my house for that matter. Things are crazy around here 85% of the time, and that percentage goes up during Little League season. Tomorrow is only opening day, and I've already come to grips with how badly we need a calendar and a schedule in this family!
Some people have suggested not letting them all play Little League, but I can't let one and not another play, so it's all or nothing. They all love it and it gets them outside and active, I can't say "no". Yes, it's crazy some days, trying to get the kids changed and loaded into the truck and over to the field, 15 minutes ago, but it's worth it because for all of the time that we put into practices and games, we do it together. In a family of six, attention frequently gets spread thin, so Little League is important for all of us, because each of our players individually gets the attention (although often divided) of the entire family as we sit nearby and cheer for them.
It may seem crazy now, but someday they'll remember it fondly and do it for their children too... I hope.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Perspective.
So I find myself really in the thick of parenting dilemmas more every day. Of course, it's mostly because I have a 13 y/o daughter (UGH) and I have an (almost) 8 y/o son with a ridiculous combination of ADHD and APD... a child who can't sit still and whose brain is delayed in understanding you when you tell him to sit down.
In today's case, I told him about 30 times during the 5 minute wait in the pediatrician's office today. I was really getting frustrated until the woman came in with her four children who literally ran through the front door and ran across the waiting room and finished off by running in circles around the children's coloring table. I was honestly concerned that when the nurse came out to call us back, that I wouldn't hear her. The interesting part here, is that when those other kids came in acting like that, my son immediately came over sat down next to me and waited quietly until we were called back. He still fidgeted and didn't sit still, but it was as though seeing other children behave that way made him realize how he was behaving.
I should have asked that mother to let me know her appointments in the future so that I could coordinate mine with hers.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)